


Gentleman Gato II: The Gates of Mhigo

by Rodie



Series: The Saga of Gentleman Gato [2]
Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: AI generated, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-10
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-17 11:29:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29965689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rodie/pseuds/Rodie
Summary: A new threat looms over the Waking Sands; can Gentleman Gato and Lord Hien stop their pursuit of hot chicks long enough to confront evil minding it's own business?
Series: The Saga of Gentleman Gato [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2203932
Kudos: 3





	Gentleman Gato II: The Gates of Mhigo

**Author's Note:**

> This story was generated using AI Dungeon's story tool, with the previous chapter as reference.
> 
> Please look forward to nonsense!

A few days later, the gates of Mhigo opened. A lot of people came here, but it wasn't like they were all looking forward to their stay. They weren't even sure what to expect. It had been raining, after all, and the Hrothgar smelled terrible.

Lord Hien looked over the massive throng and furrowed his manly brow.

"This is all your fault, you know!" he shouted at the sky. The people around him looked up as well. The sky didn't respond. How could it? The only thing up there was the sun, and it couldn't talk. At least not in any language anybody could understand.

"I'm not getting into this." Lord Hien grumbled. "Yugiri... you know what to do."  
The small, female ninja by his side nodded. She turned and walked away, disappearing into the crowd. For the moment, she chose to vibrate out of existence. Just for now.

Alisaie folded her arms and looked over the crowd. "I still say we should have just let them fight each other until there was one left!" she declared.

"No, that would be inhumane!" declared a mage by the name of Liliana.

"I agree. Besides, that would take all the fun out of it." A third mage added. Alisaie groaned in exasperation.

"Does anyone have any ideas?" Lord Hien asked. Nobody responded. The mood was too depressing for that.

Suddenly, a small cry rang out over the crowd. "Help! Somebody help!"

A fist shaped like a cat man was punching people left and right. It was him. It was Gentleman Gato! He had returned, and he was on a rampage.

"You there! Catch!" Lord Hien shouted, tossing a small sphere of magic at the man. Gentleman Gato did just that, seizing the mirror of power and calling forth Tsukiyomi with every ounce of his manliness. Then he was gone. "Shit!" Lord Hien cursed, and then he was gone as well.

The rest of the people looked at each other, shrugged, and then went back to their lives.

A moment later, Gentleman Gato and Lord Hien dropped from the sky and spiral-kicked Tsukiyomi into oblivion. The Gates of Mihgo shattered, and the two shared a manly high-five.

"Gentleman Gato knows that it is most efficient to attack with a higher attack stat. Being able to allocate your stats into anything else is just silly. Why would Gentleman Gato play a paladin with the piety stat?" he purred.

"Indeed," Lord Hien responded. "Now, let us go deal with the moogles. And this time, let's not shatter the gates. I like them. They're nice to look at."

"Sounds good to me! Gentleman Gato knows just the thing! It will be the most fun you've ever had!"  
It was drugs. They did a lot of them on the way over.  
"Nice," said Lord Hien, who was presently a very puffy falcon.

"Gentleman Gato knows the secrets of a good wake-and-bake. The secret is depression." Gentleman Gato shouted, before he dropped a powerful hallucinogen in the water supply. Soon, the entire moogle population was tripping balls. It was glorious.

"Now, let us find the giant sloth that rules over this city-state," Lord Hien said. "I hear it's a real sonofabitch."

King Moggle Mog XII heard the commotion outside his throne room. He was currently in the middle of a feast, and he was not pleased about this disturbance. His pink pom quivered with rage. "What is the meaning of this?" he bellowed. His tomatoes fell off the plate and died on the floor of natural causes.

"Giant sloth! We have come to take your throne, and all the glory that comes with it!" Lord Hien declared.

Moggle Mog sneered. "I'll give you one chance to leave."

Gentleman Gato considered the chance. It was soft and round and made of candy floss. Gentleman Gato did not like candy floss, nor the creature that it came from. He let out a mighty roar and charged forward. Lord Hien did likewise.

The battle was long and hard-fought. It was also very colorful, thanks to the drugs that Gato and Hien were still pumping through their system. Eventually, the sloth moogle was defeated. "You may have outsmarted me this time, but the throne will always be mine! I'll be back! Just wait and see!" he cried, before dying.

"Good. Now, let us claim the throne," Lord Hien said. Gentleman Gato picked up the soggy lump of fur that was the throne. Inside was a veritable supply of Grade 4 Artisanal Skybuilders' Rock Salt.

"Well, it's something." Lord Hien said. "It'll do," Gentleman Gato purred.

The pair of them clipped into the nearby wall, and wrongwarped to their next destination. In this case, it was the Waking Sands. "I'll get the shades," Gato said. Hien got the Regalia, and pulled up out front. "Let's cruise the desert and pick up some bitches," the prince of Doma declared.

"Gentleman Gato likes this plan."

The pair of them entered the car, and warped to the desert. Y'shtola was waiting at the nearest gas station. "I am glad you are here. I have been doing some research of my own, and I think I may have found a lead."

"Oh?" Lord Hien asked.

"Yes. The hot dogs in this gas station are shite." She spat on the ground, and frowned. "And I don't mean in the metaphorical sense. They just taste bad."

"I find that hard to believe," Hien said.

"I'm serious. I've tried ten different ones, and not a single one of them was edible. Something is going on."

"We're not here to talk about bad hot dogs," Hien said. "We're here to pick up hot babes."

"I'm a hot babe," Y'shtola observed.

"Gentleman Gato judges... eight out of ten." The Gentleman cat plucked a whisker and used it to pick his gentlemanly teeth. "Nine, if you squint."

Hien dropkicked the cat scion into the backseat, and drove off, quite forgetting about Alisaie's ice cream cone. Haurchefant was waiting for them in the backseat, with his tiny legs stretched out as far as they could go.

"I don't remember inviting you," Hien said.

"Of course not. I'm dead," the tall Elezen said. "So I go where I please. Why do you think Ishgard has never been able to find me? I'm a fucking ghost, Hien."

"Fair enough, asshole," Hien said. "Why are you here?"

"Driving in the desert and picking up babes. Why else?" Haurchefant then made out with Y'shtola, upsetting an entire generation of players who were shipping Hien and Y'shtola.

"Gentleman Gato thinks people who like throwing weapons are dumb. Anyone who mains a gunblade is a barbarian," Gato observed, eating a bucket of popcorn shrimp from the Kentucky Fried Chocobo drive-thru.

"I'll have you know that gunblades are a proud, ancient tradition," Haurchefant said.

"Then you're a dumbass, too."

The Regalia pulled up to the Waking Sands. A crowd of cheering fans were there to greet them. Haurchefant waved, and blew kisses. His left nostril itched fiercely, but as he was a ghost, he could not scratch it. Undead life was suffering.

Y'shtola frowned. "I thought we were keeping a low profile."

"Fuck that," Hien said, stepping out of the car. "Let's kill some primals."

Tataru towered over the three with her small stature. "I'm sorry, but the primals have been giving us a lot of trouble. Perhaps you could go back to the city and come back when you're actually ready to fight."

"Fuck that, too," Hien said. "Where's your leader?"

"I am the leader of the Waking Sands."

"Cool. Let's go murder some bastards."

Tataru was taken aback. "I... I don't think that's a good idea. My team just isn't ready yet."

"You're not, but we are," Hien said, pushing Tataru out of the way. "Let's go, guys." The group of three entered the instance. The others followed.

"Are you crazy?! We're not prepared for this!" Tataru said.

Hien raised an eyebrow. "Neither are we."

"Gentleman Gato likes horses. Let us farm them."

Titan was at the bar, drinking with Garuda. The primal looked up at them, and roared. "Is it my birthday?"

"No, Titan. It's just us," Hien said.

"Good." Titan suplexed Garuda into the party, but Gentleman Gato flexed and deflected the attack. Then, he grabbed Titan's arm, flipped him over his head, and slammed his face into the ground.

Gentleman Gato was a gentleman, and a cat. Therefore he did not fight dirty. Instead, he fought with only one-eighth of his power against the lesser primal.

Titan pummeled Gentleman Gato with his fists, but the cat-man only took it, and continued to grapple the much larger beast.

Garuda took this chance to excuse herself and quietly paid her tab, but Tataru was a lot noisier about it. She slammed her fists on the table, and screamed as she took flight. She grabbed Hien by the collar, and flew out of the bar.

"Let's go!" she said.

Hien followed. Gentleman Gato followed. Titan followed. Garuda followed, but Gentleman Gato slapped her ass and told her to wait in an inn in Ul'dah.

Tataru dove into the waters of Vesper Bay, and rose above the assembled crowd, a true spectacle of a giantess. "Titan is going to kill us all!" she warned them.

"That's not how you recruit for your faction," Hien said. "You're supposed to make it sound fun."

Titan was thrown backwards out of the nearby nightclub, knee-dropped by Gentleman Gato. The primal of earth broke a nearby fountain with his fists, and prepared to charge the catman. However, Gentleman Gato had other plans.

"Titan. You are a fool. The world does not revolve around you."

Gentleman Gato flew into the air, and summoned his falchion. With a single swing, he cut open Titan's chest. The rock giant closed his eyes and accepted his fate.

"Good night, do not let the mudcrabs bite." Gentleman Gato said, wiping the dust from his impeccable suit. The primal threat was eliminated.

"We should go," Hien said, "Before the guards show up." The group left the scene of the crime.

"Gentleman Gato prefers lime in his soda," the keen cat man observed. "Do not forget it."

"I won't," Tataru said. "You've been very helpful."

Haurchefant pulled up in the Regalia and honked the horn. He had scooped up a gaggle of scantily-clad fangirls, who were most likely players who liked to perform erotic role play.

"Titan is dead! Long live the Siamese!" they all cheered.

"Fuck, I was trying to do something cool and new, and I got beaten by a bunch of fucking furry roleplayers," Haurchefant observed.

"That's not a fair comparison. They're much more than that. And they had an unfair advantage."

"Whatever you say, Hien."

The gang entered the car, and returned to their abode in the Garlean Empire. The adventure would be continued in Gentleman Gato III: The Fall of the Gods.


End file.
